In this dramedy teen monologue, CAROLINA complains to her friend about how she feels bloated, despite constantly working out.
CAROLINA: I’m never eating bread or pasta again! Look at my stomach. (lifts up her shirt to reveal her stomach) I look pregnant! Is that bump normal?? I feel like I’ve put on 20 pounds in one day!
Let’s see your stomach, see…you look normal but this, (she jiggles her tummy) look at this! It’s pregnancy in full motion! That’s a baby right there! (beat) Gluten what? What’s that? Gluten allergy, I have a gluten allergy? Are you making this up? No seriously, are you making this up or do I really have this gluten thing? Well…maybe I do. I don’t care if I do, all I know is I’m trashing every product out my kitchen! That’s it, mum is just gonna have to deal with it.
(Starts opening her kitchen cabinets, piling up items on top of eachother)
See this bread? Gone, in the trash! Now…lets see what else we can find…AH HA, pasta! In the trash, all the pasta in the trash…no no, leave the muffins, they’re ok…WHAT? They have gluten too?! (beat) Well, in the trash they go. (she sadly stares at the muffins with doubt) Ummm, what else? Not the wine gums, Anne, the wine gums stay. Look at my face, I’m serious about the wine gums, whatever they’ve got…gluten or no gluten the wine gums stays; the chocolate stays, too. The sweets, anything sweet stays…
[written by D.A.]