Big Brett

In this comedic monologue story, AMY is too overwhelmed with her best friend Cheryl’s overly protective boyfriend, in fact, she may even be a bit jealous.  

AMY:  Want to know what I absolutely despise?  Overprotective men!  God, they are the worst.  I have this friend named Cheryl and she has this guy she’s been dating, some burly dude typically named Brett.  His friends call him Big Brett. Shocker!  (she imitates Brett walking with all his muscles)  “Hi, I’m Big Brett, Hi, I’m Big Brett, duh, duh, duh.”  Your barbarian, masculine nickname.  And he’s one of those guys that is so far up my friend Cheryl’s ass that I have no idea how she isn’t constipated constantly.  Okay?  Big Brett is one of those guys who is always calling, always checking in, always walking Cheryl to wherever she has to go, or driving her or waiting on her every move and quite frankly, it’s disgusting.  Always tip toeing around her, always gentle and smiley.  Repulsive!  I can’t, I really could not deal with a man who will be at my beck and call every minute of every day.  I wouldn’t be able to breathe, I would feel smothered.  I feel smothered just watching Cheryl!  I need my space and although some women dig on the whole Knight in Shining Armor thing, Big Brett is an absolute Big prick, well, not prick in the sense that his thingy, uhhh, that’s not what I meant, I mean, I wouldn’t know but I would hope he’s big in that case, for Cheryl but WHO CARES, GOD!  Where am I going with this?  Whew! Right, he’s just too much, okay and he needs to chill.  Like, go lift more weights or something.  Give my friend some space.  That’s all.

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Joseph Arnone

Joseph Arnone is the founding editor-in-chief of Monologue Blogger. In addition to running MB, Joseph is a filmmaker/producer who has had his films premiere at Festival de Cannes - Court Metrage and Tribeca Cinema's Big Apple Film Festival.

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