In this monologue, SOPHIE is at the store, picking up snacks with her friend. It appears as though she has an “unhealthy” obsession with apple cider.
SOPHIE: OHHH, yes, they got the good kind here! Crispy and tasty. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm. Do you know what? I’m addicted to this stuff, I am head over heals addicted to APPLE CIDER. (beat) No, it’s not the alcoholic kind, the juice kind, the healthy kind. But it’s getting out of control, I’m drinking this shit for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Joey bought it from the store around spring time, it’s winter now and I haven’t stopped! This vicious drink is pounding on the pounds! Ha! My mum says it’s the sugar. I don’t know what it is but the hips aren’t getting any thinner that’s for sure.
(like a commercial – holding up a container of apple cider)
Apple cider, I love this shit, there’s all kinds, pomegranate apple cider, cinnamon apple cider, banana apple cider! On those long and lonely rainy days, I sprinkle a little extra cinnamon on my cinnamon apple cider and it goes down so sweet, smooth and gentle for my tummy. Mmmmm, yummy.
When I haven’t drunk enough apple cider, I get these dreams, these real bad dreams that apples are running away from me and I’m chasing them for miles, over fields, rivers, forests…I wake up EXHAUSTED, completely exhausted, but at least I’m relieved the cider is waiting, it’s always there. Joey leaves it on my bedside before he leaves for work, first thing I wake up to. And believe me, I can’t wake up without it. I’m an absolute beast without it to start my day.
I’ll give up anything but my cider, baby.