Monologue Description:  In this monologue, WILLA catches her fiance picking his nose and flick launching it across the living room.

WILLA: What was that?  No, really, what was that exactly that I just saw you do?  Did you…did you just flick something from your finger, Greg?  Hold on, wait a minute, wait just one freaking minute here, tell me now, whatever that thing was that you just finger launched between your thumb and index finger, THAT thing…was that a boogie?  (beat)  Don’t remain silent and gawk at me, Greg…okay, this is that moment honey…this is that moment when couples need to be honest with one another.  Right here and now, it’s now baby…just tell me…did you pick your nose, roll your findings and (making launch sound)  sssszzzzzffffffff, flick it across our living room?  (beat)  Tell me now Greg or God help you!

(she shrieks)

Huuuuuh, you LIE!  You outright lied to me.  I watched you Greg, I watched the whole entire episode.  I was standing right there, peering out from the kitchen.  I saw you go in, roll and flick.  You never got a tissue, you just sat there watching t.v., like what you were doing was the most natural thing in the world.  You know why?  Because it is to someone like you!

That is the wor—the most disgusting, crudest thing I have ever seen you do in all my life.  You touch me with those filthy hands.  Ill!!  Don’t you ever roll and flick in this house again Greg. Never ever again.  Go wash your hands!

(she looks at the television set and notices the boogie)

And what the…Oh my G—it can’t be…(she peers in to examine closer)  on the upper left corner of the t.v. frame…is that what I think it is…GREG, is that, is that where he landed?  No, no don’t touch it and grab it with your hands, go get a tissue now!  WAIT!  Look at me, did you know it was dangling there the entire time?  Did you?  Look at me, Greg….

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Joseph Arnone

Joseph Arnone is the founding editor-in-chief of Monologue Blogger. In addition to running MB, Joseph is a filmmaker/producer who has had his films premiere at Festival de Cannes - Court Metrage and Tribeca Cinema's Big Apple Film Festival.

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