Comedy Monologue Description: Emily is really ticked off at her boyfriend for treating her “differently” while in front of his friends.
EMILY: What?! I’m trying to make a point to you and you tell me “not in front of the Buddha?” Are you kidding me right now? Oh my God, after you blatantly insult me and you think I’m just going to stand here in your precious living room with all these stupid meditational thingies you have dangling all over the place and honestly, I’m sick of it!
(she grabs the Buddha statue and takes an outrageous threatening stance)
Hah! Now what? Don’t even think about taking one step further or the Buddha goes flying, pal. How dare you? How dare you try to hide behind your Buddha. Well, Buddha is my hostage now bitch and I will have my say!
So, don’t you ever, ever and I mean ever Ralph, ever think that you can speak to me the way you did tonight in front of your friends. Suddenly acting all posh like that scene from Grease when Danny did that to Sandy when he was with his friends acting all macho. You haven’t seen Grease? Ugghhh, where is your sense of culture man? The point is, don’t Travolta ME! Got it? Don’t act like someone we both know you’re not. If you care about me and want to be with me, than you have to treat me with respect all the time, not some of the time and especially in front of your buddies.
Tell me now…do you agree? Yeah? Will you treat me the right way, ALL THE TIME?? Okay…Buddha can go back on the shelf now.