Monologue Description“PINCH” is about what couples do for one another.

Character Description:In this monologue, DEMETRIA talks to her sister about what she went through, in order to POP the boil on her boyfriend’s butt hole.  Seriously, this is messed up folks.  Read on…

DEMETRIA: “Baby”, he says to me, “I’m in pain.”  And I was like, what’s wrong baby…what do you mean, pain?  What kind of pain?  And he was like, “Baby, I have a boil on my asshole and it’s killing me.  I can’t walk, I can’t sit.”

At first I thought he was joking but he was serious.  I felt terrible.  I never had a boil on my asshole before, let alone a boil of any sort on my body, my whole life.

Now, what I’m about to tell you, just may very well gross you out and if you don’t want me to tell you my story, than, just say so now because it’s about to get wicked…


Okay.  My boyfriend asked me if I could pop the boil on his asshole.  I know, I know it’s nasty, disgusting and probably most women wouldn’t even attempt such a thing but I love my man and he needed my help…so I said OKAY.  I heated up a sewing pin at the stove to sterilize it and I proceeded into the bedroom where he layed on his stomach.  He spread his butt cheeks for me, you know, held himself wide open so I could jab the boil.  It was quite big.  Really, it was.  I couldn’t believe the size of this thing on his asshole.  It was wild, like a thumb.

But, there I am with the pin and the moment has arrived to give my man some relief.    Look, I felt partly responsible for the boil because when we have sex, shhh and don’t repeat this to anyone but he sometimes likes it if I put my finger up his you know what and I don’t know, it helps with the ejaculation process or whatever.  ANYWAY, I figured that maybe because of my fingers or something, that it could have been the reason why he had a growing boil on his you know what.  So I felt partly responsible.

Now, of course he washed himself up good before I was about to go in there and pop the thing.  I mean, hahaha, I would never go in there unless he was clean.  hahaha.  I mean, come on, really!

Okay, okay, okay!  I’m staring at the boil, my boyfriend is spreading his butt cheeks and I’m going IN WITH THE PIN.  So, I inject him.  He doesn’t move, doesn’t feel a thing.  The boil doesn’t pop.  So, I stab it again, gently of course and still, nothing.  So, I tell him, “Baby, the pin went inside and it didn’t pop.”  And he was like, “Baby, stab it harder.”  So I did.  I stabbed the boil with the pin like three more time and it wouldn’t budge.  The damn boil would not budge! So Eric was like, “Baby, just pinch it, pinch it, PLEASE”.

And without thinking, I took my thumb and index finger and I squeezed the boil as if it were a zit and then the freaking thing burst all over my chin and shot directly in my right eye and I screamed and Eric screamed and we were both screaming really loud and I ran into the bathroom while I was screaming and I couldn’t see out of my eye and I kept washing my face and putting eye drops in my eye and Eric was laughing but I was so pissed because all the blood and puss and whatever else that was in the damn bubble squirted out all over me.

After about five minutes my vision was restored.  But if he ever gets another boil on his ass or anywhere else for that matter, I am never going near that again!  Ever!

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Joseph Arnone

Joseph Arnone is the founding editor-in-chief of Monologue Blogger. In addition to running MB, Joseph is a filmmaker/producer who has had his films premiere at Festival de Cannes - Court Metrage and Tribeca Cinema's Big Apple Film Festival.

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