Thumbleberry

In this comedy scene, friends JAKE and ALEX are going to meet girls at a club when suddenly Jake smells something horrible.  Check out even more scripts, scenes and skits on MB.

Jake: Hold up…you smell that?

Alex: Smell what?

Jake: Hold on, don’t move.

(Jake sniffing air)

What is that?  You don’t smell that?

Alex: I don’t smell shit.

Jake: Shit.  Yeah, smells like shit.  Did you step in shit, bro?

(Alex checks his shoes)

Alex: No, did you?

(Jake checks his shoes)

Jake: No, man.  It’s driving me crazy.  It’s like following me wherever I go.

Alex: Check your shirt man.

(Jake smells his arm pits. Alex does the same.)

Jake: Nothing.

Alex: Yeah, nothing.  It isn’t me.  I haven’t smelt anything.

Jake: There it is.  Hold on.  It comes and goes.

Alex: Does it?

Jake: It’s here right now.  Hold on.  It’s strong and then weak .  Up and down.

Alex: I don’t know man.  The girls are waiting.  Forget it.

Jake: Dude, I can’t see the girls like—there it is again!

Alex: Freeze.  Stay still.  Do you smell it right now?

Jake: No.  Why do you want me to freeze?

Alex: Next time you smell it, freeze because if it’s on you, you can detect it.

Jake: That makes no sense…

(Jake freezes)

I smell it.  I smell it.

(Alex starts sniffing Jake all over)

Jake: Dude, don’t sniff my ass, what the fuck!?

Alex: Nah, man.  You’re good.  I don’t smell anything.

Jake: Don’t you have allergies?

Alex: Yeah.

Jake: You’re nose is probably all clogged up.

Alex: When we smoked up before it actually clears my senses.  I’m breathing like we just hiked in the mountains.

Jake: Good for you Alex.  Oh my God!

Alex: Yo.

Jake: Look at my thumb.  It’s on my fucking thumb man!!

Alex: What?!  What?!

Jake: Dude…I got hit with a thumbleberry.

Alex: Thumbleberry?  What’s a thumbleberry?

Jake: It’s when you wipe your ass with a tissue but your thumb helps out.

Alex: Like dingleberry?

Jake: Yeah, but you add the word thumb and berry you get—

Alex: Thumbleberry.  You have shit on your thumb this entire time?

Jake: Yeah dude, I need to find a napkin.  It’s all dried up to the thumb.

Alex: You’re raw bro.  Look, right there, just use the dirt and grass man.

Jake: What do I look like a dog?

Alex: You’re the one with the thumbleberry.

Jake: Alright, alright, just until I can wash my hands in the club.

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Joseph Arnone

Joseph Arnone is the founding editor-in-chief of Monologue Blogger. In addition to running MB, Joseph is a filmmaker/producer who has had his films premiere at Festival de Cannes - Court Metrage and Tribeca Cinema's Big Apple Film Festival.

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